The ABC's of Growing Up

I was watching the movie “Post Grad” today and couldn’t help but see myself in the character Ryden. As a recent college graduate, she is excited to see what the real world has for her. Ryden goes to her first interview with high hopes, only to be disappointed when the job is offered to her college rival (who worth mentioning is a snotty biatch. Why does this always happen?) Ryden is forced to move back home with her parents and continue the job hunt day in and day out. This is MY story! Besides the completely predictable and over done love story, this movie is about me. At one point in the movie Ryden gets in an argument with her father. He says that she is not trying hard enough and that her expectations are too high. He suggests that she needs to work harder and try settling for a less glamorous job. I could not portray how many times I’ve had this same exact conversation with my parents.

It’s hard for an older generation to understand the scope and extremely vast job market that now exists. I mean, we are going up against thousands of other applicants who have the same degree and credentials. It doesn’t even matter what makes you stand out amongst the rest, because in reality,nothing makes you stand out when there are thousand of others. What does matter is who you know. I was unemployed for over six months after I graduated. And it wasn’t because I wasn’t trying hard enough or had too high of expectations. It was because every other kid that just graduated from college (and basically every person in the United States) was applying for the job as well. I was frustrated. The thought of it now, is still frustrating. After 150 applications and cover letters I have a job now. Granted it doesn’t have anything at all to do with what I went to school for, it’s a decent job to sit on until I can find something in my field.

My point is, it may be hard, but I wish more people could understand the frustration and disappointment that not only me, but millions of people are feeling. I feel betrayed and abandoned by this country. We have these expectations put on us as kids to go to college and “become something. “ But the government isn’t willing to lend a hand in getting there. They want you to better the country, but don’t want to help you get there. In fact, they really hinder you, expecting you to pay obscene amounts of money to “further your education.” I am coming out of college almost $100,000 in debt. And here’s the icing on the cake…I can’t even find a job in my field. YOU told me to get an education to better my future. YOU are the reason I am a 23 year old with a debt the size of Texas. And now, YOU won’t even help me out. What is wrong with this country? A friend recently asked me why the US doesn’t do college funding like most European countries. That’s a good freaking question. In Europe, the government pays for the college education. In Europe, they want to better their countries by educating their people and in turn building a stronger community. In the US, they want to better their country by encouraging people to go to college and taking all their money. What is that?

In the end, it’s exasperating and confusing.It’s done now and I guess we can only hope for a better future. Sooner or later, we’ve got to get it right, right? Really, I loved college and wouldn’t trade the experience for anything. I made friends I never would have made and learned things I wouldn’t have learned. I expanded my horizons and had my eyes opened. I just think that there are some changes that could be made. A more affordable education possibly? College to work transitions? Something. Anything. Anyways, you have to keep trucking. Some say, good things come to those who wait, you’ve got to take the highs with the lows, no regrets, and everything will work out in the end. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s how to be strong. I’m not giving up. I’ve worked this hard until now and I will continue to work hard. I’ll end this long, daunting, but very releasing blog post with my favorite quote by Rainer Maria Rilke.

“Let life happen to you.” – R.M.Rilke

Listening to: "Take What You Take” – Lily Allen, "Speeding Cars" - Imogen Heap, "Let Go" - Frou Frou

New Shoes

Random thought: Do you put your left shoe or your right shoe on first? I put my left shoe on first. Does this have a deeper meaning than simply just repetition and muscle memory? Further more, what about putting one sock and shoe on before putting the other sock and shoe on? Weird!


Listening to: "New Shoes" - Paolo Nutini

This Woman's Work

If there’s one thing I’ve learned that I carry with me every day, it’s that you should constantly surround yourself with positive people. Genuine friendship for women is a rarity. Nowadays, girls are almost always viewing each other as competition or a threat. What happened to working together and bettering each other? Why are women constantly knocking each other down? And where are all the strong female role models? We should be united. Young girls have very few women to look up to, who hold strong positive characteristics such as respect, honesty, and compassion. What happened to women like Susan B. Anthony and Eleanor Roosevelt? These women fought, sweat and tears, so that women would be created equally. The problem: how are others supposed to take women seriously and treat us equally, when as women we are constantly knocking each other down? Now, I’m not trying to be some crazy feminist man-hater or a member of the he-man woman haters club either. But the way women treat each other nowadays is disgusting. Women are catty, judgmental, and insecure. In return, we always have our guard up and constantly believe that there is an underlying intention behind kind gestures. Is it impossible to consider that someone is just trying to be nice, just because? Unfortunately, yes.

Women need to stop breaking each other down. Instead, why not build each other up? It’s not about giving in to everyone and letting people walk all over you. It’s not about being dominant or superior either. What it is about is allowing each other to grow. What happened to support and understanding? Aren’t we all in this together? We are adults now and we don’t need and/or want people telling us what to do. But what we do need is to have people support us when we’re making big decisions, build us up when we’re at the bottom and even help us become more aware when we may be acting poorly. Support. Honesty. Trust. It takes far less energy to be nice than to create hate and animosity. As women and in general as part of a community/society, maybe we should try to be a little bit more compassionate, try understanding the other side, and try supporting one another. I mean, it’s worth a shot right?

My role models: Mother, my mom who would drop everything and do anything for me, in a second. A friend, a mother who is completely unselfish and puts her needs aside in order to ensure that her kids will have the best possible childhood. Friends, sisters who are hard working and dedicated in order to become successful business women. Friends, that are passionate, loving, and courageous and who make it possible that through them I become passionate, loving, and courageous as well. This world needs more women like these women, my role models.

Listening to: "They" - Jem